PA System Blues
by mochi rabbit
Summary: The old PA system at Karakura High becomes the center of attention as Rukia and Ichigo drive away the blues by broadcasting more than the authorized list of notices. Love and paranormal activity live on air! Epilogue Complete
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: All characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.

Author's Note: Timeline of this story is set after the Soul Society Arc. Since I'm waiting for the anime to catch up with the manga (when this was written), I've taken some liberties in assuming that Rukia returns to Karakura.

**PA system Blues: Prologue**

The dreary month before the examination period had arrived at Karakura High. To accommodate the senior students, who were in various stages of panic breakdowns, the school authorities decided that morning assemblies would be called off for the moment.

After all, they didn't want a repeat of that incident where a senior suddenly went berserk and assaulted the principal on stage, screaming about last-minute cramming, while hammering the poor man with the microphone.

And so, they wisely decided that school announcements would be broadcasted over the Public Addressing System every Monday morning before classes commenced. The duty of picking the student who would be 'honored' with the responsibility of reading the school notices fell to the homeroom teacher of Form 3, Class 1.

"Volunteers anybody? Just imagine, you'll be given the chance to grace the school with your dulcet voice!"

The offer was met with dead silence as all the students tried to avoid eye-contact with the teacher in front. Everyone knew about that incident involving the berserk student during assembly last year. Who in their right mind would want to risk distressing those jumpy seniors?

The teacher sighed. Looks like she'd have to depend on that age-old method to pick a victim. She opened the class register, picked up her red-ink pen, squeezed her eyes tightly shut, and jabbed randomly at the list of names.

As one, the class held their breath -each student wondering who the unfortunate comrade would be. A trickle of sweat ran down Ishida's brow. Kurosaki Ichigo's eyebrows were knitted together in a frown of concentration more severe than usual.

During the suspenseful hush, the class could clearly hear Asano Keigo chanting in prayer, "Don'tletitbemeDon'tletitbeme…pleeeease!"

The teacher cleared her throat and glanced at the class over her spectacles.

"Kuchiki Rukia-san?"

An oblivious Rukia blinked at her name while beside her, Ichigo's face blanched to match his white school shirt.

* * *

Author's Note: And thus, was the 'honor' bestowed upon one clueless Rukia.

Next chapter: The first Monday morning!


	2. Chapter 1: The First Monday Morning

Disclaimer: All Bleach characters belong to Kubo Tite.

Author's note: Timeline of this story is set after the Soul Society Arc. Since I'm waiting for the anime to catch up with the manga (when this was written), I've taken some liberties in assuming that Rukia returns to Karakura.

**PA system Blues: The first Monday morning**

Kurosaki Ichigo set the box of wires onto the tabletop, upsetting a tipsy pile of yellowing files to the floor. He sneezed explosively –once, twice, and the final one left him cross-eyed.

Rukia waved her hands before her and said primly, "Eeew! This room is filled with your germs!"

"Correction –this room is filled with Dust Bunnies," Ichigo said grumpily.

"Bunnies! Where?" Rukia demanded excitedly.

"Nevermind! Just help me out here, will you?"

_Kami-sama, why do you do this to me? Out of all the people in class, it had to be Rukia! She doesn't even know how to poke a straw into a packet drink –directions labeled! _

Fate had a funny sense of humor sometimes. Ichigo knew very well that Rukia had limited knowledge on operating and managing certain things in his world. He had found this out the hard way when she had failed to work the radio in his room. In a magnificent show of frustration, she had blown the poor appliance into so many tiny components with her Demon Arts.

"What are you doing? Are you trying to kill me?" Ichigo yelled. He had just caught Rukia bending down to the electrical socket, ready to plug the wires in and send some 'Good morning, Ichigo!' jolts to his end.

Rukia glared at him. "It won't work if I don't plug it in!"

Oh, so.. she had finally figured that out. Too bad his radio was beyond salvation before she learnt that little basic lesson in electronics.

Ichigo adamantly refused to listen to any of Rukia's "helpful" suggestions while they tried to figure out the faded labels and connections. When Ichigo had finally set the PA system up, they were both red in the face from bickering and sneezing.

Wearily, they turned around, only to discover that the list of announcements was lost somewhere in the sea of dusty documents, Ichigo let out a small scream of frustration.

"Stubborn, hot-headed fool," Rukia whispered under her breath.

It was one of those tiny comments meant to provoke and not to hurt. But, Ichigo seemed to take it to heart.

"Stubborn and hot-headed, huh?" he repeated softly.

"Ah, you're reckless too," Rukia added. "Do you deny this about yourself?"

_Ouch, that really stung!_

Ichigo turned away from her. "Yeah, I am all those things you said."

"And you dislike yourself for this?"

Ichigo did not reply. He could not.

"Stubborn, hot-headed, reckless," Rukia said. Taking one step closer to him, she continued, "Strong, kind and brave. I like all these things about you. I like you, Ichigo."

_I like all these things about you._

Ichigo's eyes widened. He turned around to meet Rukia's steady gaze.

_I like you, Ichigo._

One hand reached out to her, fingertips grazing lightly down her cheeks. When she did not object, Ichigo pulled her tightly against him in a fierce hug.

"Thank you, Rukia."

_Thank you for accepting me as I am.  
_

oooOooo

For the first time in Karakura High's history, the students were not in a bleary-eyed stupor as the individual PA systems crackled in every classroom. On the contrary, every face was turned towards the little speaker-box set up high on the wall.

It was uncanny –the way every single ounce of concentration in the classroom was focused on it.

In Form 3, Class 1, Arisawa Tatsuki broke the stunned silence.

"I think.. Kurosaki didn't know the PA microphone was switched on, did he?"

* * *

Author's Note: Can you say, "Whoopsie.."? ;) 

Next chapter: The second Monday morning.


	3. Chapter 2: The Second Monday Morning

Disclaimer: All characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.

Author's note: Timeline of this story is set after the Soul Society Arc.

**PA system Blues: The second Monday morning**

After the disaster last week, Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia were given warnings that they were not to air private matters over the public-addressing system. The amiable school principal of Karakura High decided that punishment was unnecessary since all the sniggering, and whispering of the other students would be punishment enough. And truly, from open-eyed staring to hidden glances, buzzing talk followed in the wake of Ichigo and Rukia's path in the school hallways.

They were the talk of Karakura High. The school gossips were practically exploding with excitement while spreading and artfully elaborating on the juicy details of the relationship. It was breaking news! The unattainable fighting bad-boy in town had been tamed by love in the arms of the mysterious transfer student. Romantics sighed.

Kurosaki Ichigo had never been under so much pressure to just run up to a wall and knock himself out into blissful oblivion. As for the star who had declared her feelings on air, Rukia could only wonder why the big, black proverbial hole did not open up to swallow her whole in her time of need. It was hard to say who was more embarrassed about the whole scenario.

oooOooo

The second Monday morning arrived to pull sluggish students from their beds back to school. Ichigo and Rukia carried out the Monday morning announcements more carefully than usual. They could have finished the announcements without further incident. They could have just completed the task so ordinarily that the new week would erase their last escapade.

But, it was not to be.

Ichigo heaved a sigh of relief as Rukia signed off on the PA system in that saccharine-sweet voice of hers that often set his teeth on edge. He leaned back, propped his feet up onto the table and asked, "So, Rukia, what news from Soul Society?"

He failed to notice when the heel of his shoe jammed momentarily into the transmission button. Rukia hopped up lightly on the table, preoccupied by the mobile phone in her hand. She did not notice Ichigo's mistake, nor did she realize it when her elbow knocked the microphone switch to life.

"Things may seem calm after the uproar when you stormed the _seireitei_, but the trouble is not over. There will be no rest until they resolve Aizen Sousuke's hidden agenda. How dangerous they must be, for just three to so easily overcome the _seireitei_," Rukia's voice trailed off. "When they return.."

How close they had all come to danger, at one time or another during that chaos, -her own sentence to execution, Ichigo's perilous journey to save her bringing him time and time again to the edge of an opponent's sword. Renji pushed to his limits, Byakuya nii-sama stepping into the path of Ichimaru Gin's sword.. Would they be so lucky the next time?

Ichigo's eyebrows furrowed together as he watched Rukia quietly bury herself in her endless possibilities of bad-endings. Why did she chain herself to fears and doubts so much that the people around her became burdens instead of companions to lighten the load?

"You have it on your face again," Ichigo said.

Rukia looked at him inquisitively. He leaned forward to tap her forehead lightly. "Look, it's there as plain as day – 'Big Worrywart'. Maybe that's why you cover it with a lock of hair?"

"I have no lumps on my head!" Rukia protested.

Ichigo's finger traced a path from her brow to her chin. He tilted her chin up firmly in his grip and met her gaze unwaveringly.

"Listen, you hear my words. But, you don't hear what they mean. You see the people around you. But, you don't acknowledge us. We are by your side, and yet you refuse us."

Rukia was held still by the force of his words.

"When the time comes, I will save you again. Not just me, Renji and your friends here too. Don't take everything onto yourself. You're not alone. Understand?"

Then, he released his hold on her, sat back in the folding-chair, and grinned, "Now, tell me that wicked story about your brother and his noble-house of Kuchiki. Who was your sister?"

oooOooo

As Ichigo and Rukia walked down the hall to their classroom, students began peering out at them. The noise of incessant whispering rose in volume as they passed by.

"You think it's true, then? She's from some sort of underground Mafia clan?"

"Have you heard? Saehara from the 3rd class says that he's a member of that Soul Society."

"You bunch of fools actually believe that? It's obviously a story they just made up! Ch'! Calling themselves Death Gods? This ain't the freakin' Kabuki theatre, man!"

Suddenly, the school secretary approached them, high heels clicking smartly.

"Form 3, Class 1's Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia. Follow me to the principal's office now."

oooOooo

Ichigo's face had turned a sickly green that clashed horribly with his bright orange hair. Rukia looked as if she was going to faint dead away to the office floor. They were in so much trouble.

They had _not_.. Please, someone say they had _not_ just broadcasted highly confidential details of Soul Society on the school PA system. Ichigo tried to look over his shoulder imperceptibly for black uniformed Shinigami's brandishing arrest warrants with the names 'Kurosaki Ichigo' and 'Kuchiki Rukia' on them.

The principal coughed and continued, "As interesting as that little tale was –Death Gods and Spirit Societies, heheh.., the PA system is school property and not for your own personal amusement. Please, try to stick with the program. Do I have your agreement in this Kurosaki, Kuchiki?"

How much had they said? Oh, just Rukia's death sentence, Shinigami duties, the internal affairs of Soul Society. And.. _Kami-sama,_ please have mercy upon us, an account of Kuchiki Byakuya's private family matters.

Ichigo's throat ran dry. He wondered what alternative method of execution Soul Society had managed to come up with since the sealing of Soukyoku. Maybe he would find out soon.

oooOooo

Rukia didn't know if it was proper to laugh at the current state of affairs. Surely it wasn't right to do so. But, every time one of her schoolmates came up to her gushing about the _brilliant_ broadcast on the PA system, she found it so unbelievable that she nearly dissolved into tears and laughter all at once.

They thought Soul Society was some underworld organization akin to the Mafia. They believed that Kurosaki Ichigo of class 1-3 had gone through life threatening obstacles to save her from certain death in the hands of the men in black. It was surprising how close and yet so far to the truth they could be.

They thought it was so dramatic, was it not? That whole tragic tale of her aristocratic guardian and her older sister, the journey of one hero to save the day and rescue the fair maiden -it was beautiful.

Such romance! Girls would be crying in their pillows at night. Boys were suddenly besieged by tempered demands to proclaim their love in some grand medieval fashion. -_Would you lay down your life for me the way Kurosaki did?_

Rukia surveyed her surroundings, amazed by the variety of behaviors displayed by Ichigo's schoolmates. There –a group of girls waving at her, possibly because of her near-celebrity status. Here –a girl passing by while darting a look of skeptical disbelief at her back, and yet hurrying to step out of her path. And of course, that group of boys smoking by the fence. Some stared at her impassively; others gave her a once-over, assessing her.

If there had been a banner blowing above their little mob, it would have read 'Yakuza' –possibly written in the crimson dried blood of their enemies. She'd heard of how a territorial horde of them had passionately charged Ichigo, waving metal rods, _'cuz this town ain't big enuf fer Soul Society and one of them lousy Death Gods._

Ichigo had given them a devilishly evil grin. He had been suffering a lot of indignity and pent up emotions recently. _Come over here boys, and let the Death God teach you a lesson in crime and punishment. Prepare to atone for your sins, so let me show you hell-on-earth._

In 10 minutes, the trees around school had acquired new ornaments that seemed to cry 'Mummy!' and occasionally whimper in pain. Since then, the remorseful members had even climbed vertical walls to get out of Ichigo's way.

* * *

Author's Note: The word 'Yakuza' refers to the Japanese version of gangsters. And to Makino114, Shi-Sha Hariken, SHiNiGAMiLENNE, me-go-syco, rukiaprincess, Zefrn, flOofymikO, aliof1873, ShinakaStar and IIscorpioII.. thanks ever so much for the first reviews to this new story! 

Next chapter: The Third Monday Morning.


	4. Chapter 3: The Third Monday Morning

Disclaimer: All Bleach characters belong to Kubo Tite.

**PA system Blues: The third Monday morning**

The Kurosaki household residents were all fast asleep. Well, all save one. In the wee hours of the morning, a small shadow stirred and crept quietly across the floor of Ichigo's room.

Kon sneaked into a certain hot-tempered boy's school bag. An act that would no doubt incur the wrath of the owner, had he not been blissfully snoring in bed, 5-feet away. Kon was willing to take the risk. He had _plans_, and this was a _mission_.

As the first shafts of Monday morning sunshine peeped through the window, the sleeping occupants of Ichigo's room never noticed the sounds of muffled laughter coming from the school bag.

oooOooo

Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia stared up at the form blocking the entrance of the PA room. The one-man human barricade scowled down at them.

"You young upstarts had best behave today," he barked. "I'm going to be watching the pair of you with eyes of a hawk."

Really, it was much too early in the morning for this. Ichigo offered the average dismissive reply used by teenagers everywhere, "Whatever, sensei. Now can we get this over with?"

What cheek! Nobody gives Kagine-sensei anything but meek acquiescence. His word was law in this school, and he wasn't going to take any smart little quips spouted by this orange-haired punk.

"You watch yourself. Don't think you can mess with the school PA system every Monday and get away with it! This school, and students like you need discipline!"

Rukia tried hard to keep her sweet and innocent façade in place. An encounter with the power-obsessed teacher was not the best way to start the day. Was he actually flexing his brawny muscles as he spoke?

The teacher sat vigilantly behind them, arms crossed. Occasionally, he would make threatening growls to remind them that they were under the watchful eyes of a man who would tolerate no tricks.

So focused was he upon Ichigo and Rukia that he never thought to watch the school bags on the floor.

oooOooo

Rukia finished the announcements quickly, all the time feeling that oppressive force from behind. As soon as it was over, the teacher all but kicked them out into the hallway. Kagine-sensei turned the key in the lock and gave Ichigo a triumphant smirk.

"Hah! Ruined your plans, didn't I? Thought you'd get to it after my back was turned? Don't even dream! The door will remain locked 'til I give you permission to enter. And I hold the _only_ set of keys!"

"Now, scram to your classes! No loitering in the hallways!"

With that, Kagine-sensei sauntered off to the faculty room, pleased with his own proficiency at discontinuing the weekly nonsensical announcements.

He would have to write a report on how well he had handled this case. Maybe he'd get that promotion he obviously deserved. As he leaned forward to begin the composition, -_Monday. Date.., _the PA system in the staff room crackled to life.

His pen stopped one centimeter from the paper.

_It couldn't be! He had locked that door! Double-locked it, in fact! It was just his imagina-_

The PA system crackled again and gave a high pitched whine as someone adjusted the microphone.

All the hairs on his arm and the back of his neck stood straight up. As if a chilling wind had just blown past.

"Goood morning, Karakura! You're listening to Radio Kon –Golden! Here to bring you the latest updates is the one and only.."

Kagine-sensei stood up so fast that his chair toppled over with a loud crash, causing the other teachers in the staff room to jump up in shock. Everyone had been held spellbound by the lively voice from the speakers.

oooOooo

Kagine-sensei slammed his fist on the door of the PA room. That no-good brat must have jammed the door with a chair. After-school detention! No, that was too good for the delinquent. Student Kurosaki, prepare to be suspended!

"Open the door this instant, student Kurosaki!" he roared, as he jiggled the door knob again.

"Whatever are you saying, sensei? I'm standing right here!"

The stunned teacher turned around to stare unbelievingly at the horribly familiar head of orange-hair. A look of pure stubbornness came upon his face. He ignored Ichigo and turned once more to bang his hand down on the door.

"I don't know what you think you're up to, student Kurosaki! But, you're going to be expelled!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes. Sheesh, some people! He took a few steps back, pulled back his foot and gave the door a jarring kick, slamming it straight open.

"..time does not permit, my audience. Thanks for tuning in to Ra-!" Kon choked, as a fist closed around his neck and wringed him hard.

His beady eyes met Ichigo's angry ones. Gameover, Kon.

Ichigo hissed softly at him, "You. You are going to be _thread_ when I finish with you."

Kagine-sensei rushed into the room screaming for the blood of the culprit. But, where was the guilty party? There was no one there. Empty -except for Ichigo who stood sullenly in the center of the room, a dirty toy clutched in his fingers.

Had it just squeaked? Was that thing _alive? _

The teacher felt all the hairs on his arms and the back of the neck stand again. There was a feeling of weakness about his knees. He knew it. All along he had suspected that there was something _off_ about this awful boy. It had only served to confirm his suspicions that this delinquent was dabbling in the occult when he had recognized the familiar orange-headed face on that circus-freak Don Kanonji show.

And look now, the menace had attracted some sort of spook to the school PA room! _Kami-sama_, the place was probably haunted! That explained it all.

Ichigo coughed. "Maybe.. he jumped out the window."

Just before Kagine-sensei slumped to the floor in a dead faint, one thought passed through his mind.

_Kurosaki, you fool! It's the third floor up here._

oooOooo

Kurosaki Ichigo stood before the school principal.

"Please, explain the situation to me, Kurosaki-kun. Kagine-sensei swears that you're somehow involved in that joke. Although, given that even your class teacher vouches for you, claiming that you were in her class, I'm prepared to listen to what you have to say." The principal smiled, "He wishes for me to grant him the permission to supervise your washing of all 80 school toilets. So, the truth please, Kurosaki."

The truth? You want the honest-to-goodness truth? My possessed soft-toy did it, sensei. Right, like hell anyone would believe that!

The damned truth was stranger than fiction. And _that_ was the story of his life ever since the day Rukia had stepped into the pretty picture.

Kurosaki opened his mouth. And he lied. He lied all the way to freedom.

_Scrub 80 school toilets? So sorry Kagine-sensei, but not in this universe!_

_

* * *

_  
Author's Note: Kagine-sensei was most sadly abused in this story. I'm sure the real man isn't so bad. Kagine is the discipline-upholding teacher who popped in shortly after Ichigo appeared on National TV because of Don Kanonji's show.

My apologies that this **Third Monday morning** was later than usual. Makino114 gave an 'idea' that was just too good to resist. So, I took apart this chapter to fit in an extra which will be up soon.

Much thanks to Procrastinator-starting2moro,Shi-Sha Hariken, Gigai-Gurl, Zefrn, Chen0412, Makino114, SHiNiGAMiLENNE, ruukii, RiaKitsuneYoukai, comanderlink, and XxLilyNGxX for reviewing.

Next chapter: The Third Monday morning: the extra chapter.


	5. Chapter 4: The Extra chapter

Disclaimer: All characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.

Author's Note: The plot-bunny for this chapter belongs to Makino114.

**PA system Blues: The third Monday morning** -**the extra chapter**

"Well, congratulations, Kurosaki," Ishida said dryly. "It isn't even 9.00 a.m. yet and you've managed to put a comatose teacher into the school medic bed."

Ichigo gave the smirking boy his trademark glare. Oh, this was _fine_! Just what he needed –his arch-rival rubbing it in his face. His day was complete now.

Seeing that he had successfully annoyed Ichigo, the Quincy archer took the opportunity to do more injury.

"I have to say, you've really outdone yourself this time, Kurosaki."

"Shut up, Ishida."

"Quite an achievement," Ishida continued. "It's a new record for you."

"Agh! It wasn't me this time. Actually, it was never _my_ fault those other times too!"

Ishida gave him a sarcastic look. "Why you could have fooled me. Your very _original_ ideas for PA broadcasts seem to be happening too frequently to be random."

Ichigo decided to cut the conversation short before he totally lost his cool. "Look, I've got the culprit here."

The image-conscious boy scanned the doorway of the sewing club's room warily before he pulled a bound and gagged soft-toy from his bag. He pinned Kon down to the table with one palm, and raised his eyes to meet the Quincy's cool gaze.

Ishida hiked an eyebrow up questioningly.

Both boys ignored Kon's increasingly desperate muffled protests.

Ichigo said meaningfully, "Ishida, do your worst."

Ishida Uryuu smirked. "Don't be insulting, shinigami."

oooOooo

Ichigo finished screwing the PA room door back to its hinges while Rukia held it steady.

"Damn it. Everything's my fault." He raised his voice to a silly pitch and mimicked the school secretary, "You busted the door, Kurosaki-kun. So you fix it."

"Well, I say, this series of messes started when you had to get yourself picked as a PA volunteer," he said, throwing a pointed look in Rukia's direction.

Rukia narrowed her eyes dangerously at him. "You think I had a choice in getting myself picked? Are you saying that this was all _my_ fault then?"

"_Obviously_," Ichigo said. Only he drawled the word out in the patronizing tone he had perfected through years of practice as a wayward teenager.

It was by luck that he turned around just in time to see Rukia let fly with an improvised projectile. He dived out of the way in panic and the dusty document folder hit the PA system microphone with a loud crash to the floor.

Yellowed papers flew in the air. Rukia hefted a heavier folder in her hands and took aim a second time. Ichigo didn't need any prompting. He surrendered immediately.

"Fine! _Fine!_ It's not your fault. Put that down. Sheesh!"

oooOooo

Meanwhile, in class 1-3, Inoue Orihime cautiously uncovered her ears and directed a quizzical look at the PA speakers.

Without warning, the monotonous class had been interrupted by a very violent screeching sound from the speakers on the wall. The scratchy noises died down and Mizuiro protested, "What in the- "

"Shh!" Tatsuki hissed.

Vague thumping sounded from the speakers. They could hear the muffled sounds of voices in the background. Suddenly, the sound akin to that of nails screaming down a blackboard assaulted their ears.

"_Is it broken?" _ a voice from the speakers asked.

"Yes! Yeees, it is!" Keigo moaned piteously. "Make it stop!"

"_Ch'! I'd celebrate if it's really gone kaput. Damned thing has just about broadcasted every single humiliating issue possible."_

There was a loud crackle of static and the sound cleared enough for them to recognize the speaker.

"It's Kurosaki!"

"_I think the switch snapped."_

"And Kuchiki-san!"

"_Yeah, and we know who has got a tendency towards violence here! It's so hard living with you."_

"_Excuse me? I have violence issues? Look who's talking. Only the boy who just stormed the seireitei and put more than half the Death God's in the medic quarters. And if I'm hard to live with, you're.. you're impossible!"_

"Wait a minute! Are they living together? Freakin' h-"

"Shut up, Asano!"

"…_sleeping in my cupboard!"_

Chizuru frowned in confusion. She muttered to herself, "_Sleeping in my cupboard_? Is that supposed to be some new term for sleeping together?"

"Get your mind out of the gutter!" Tatsuki groaned, whapping her on the head.

oooOooo

"You can walk around with that façade, Ms. Perfect. But, you snore at night!"

"Don't call me that! And I do _not_ snore!" Rukia said heatedly.

"Yes, you do. Really loudly. I can hear you through the cupboard door! And you drool too!"

"That's it! Now, I know you're lying!"

"I'm not making this up. You just wish I were!"

"Oh, really? And how would you know I drool? Do you open the cupboard door at night?" Rukia challenged.

Ichigo turned a shade of pink that was on the verge to crimson.

_How on earth was he supposed to admit- Correction! –answer that?_

He sputtered incoherently and was saved from finding a reply when Chad walked in.

The tall boy bent down to the electrical socket and pulled the plug out. He turned to Ichigo and said in his quiet way, "I'm sorry. They heard you."

Oh.. they had heard it all, had they?

Rukia had the grace to turn pink when the awful truth dawned upon them.

Ichigo stared in disbelieve at his friend and tried to quell the panic that was begging him to immediately run out of Karakura High to find a convenient bridge. There –he would jump off. Thus, ending this cruel cycle of suffering.

Ichigo pulled his bright orange hair and shrieked in frustration. He eyed the nearest wall, considering if it would be a good idea to run over and start banging his head on it.

Yes, Ichigo thought, I need a bridge. Have to jump off.

Because there is no way he was ever going to live down this scandal. Not in this lifetime.

There was a short knock at the door and their bespectacled teacher peered in.

"Ah, I knew I'd find you here! Kurosaki-kun, Kuchiki-san, the headmaster asked me to inform you that you're both banned from touching the PA system. If you would just step away from there, please? I'm afraid this room is off limits too."

Ichigo felt hysterical. So, now that the damage was done, they finally let them off from this torture?

_I'm sorry, but why don't I feel grateful about this? _

oooOooo

"So how do you like it?" Ishida asked.

Ichigo took in Kon's wails of despair. The scruffy possessed toy was on his back, legs kicking and arms thumping in a magnificent show of protest. Kon stood up and threw himself dramatically down on the table to repeat his angry objections.

Ichigo smirked. "Perfect," he said. Because misery loves company. And nobody had been as miserable as him recently.

"Ihateit.Ihateit.. I hate youuu!" Kon bawled.

It was dreadful. The sewing-maniac had given the stuffed lion a makeover. They hadn't left him with a shred of dignity! How could they do this to him? He was a lion playing dress-up as a _bunny_! He had a freakin' fluffy bob-tail for cryin' out loud!

He mourned his loss –as noisily and as belligerently as possible. He yanked on the long, floppy ears attached to the suit. When he thumped his paws on the table, the little carrot sewed fast to him squeaked maddeningly.

Ichigo's sadistic entertainment was interrupted when a small figure zipped past and snatched Kon up from the table.

Rukia gasped in obvious delight. "Oh, he looks like Chappy the rabbit! How adorable! Did you do this, Ishida? Thank you!"

Eyes shining, she hugged a thunderstruck Kon. Ichigo gaped at the change in circumstances –speechless.

"I knew you'd like the makeover, Kuchiki-san," Ishida smiled, pleased by her effusive praises. He blushed and pushed his glasses up to cover his cheeks.

"Oh! He even has a baby carrot in his paws!" Rukia gushed.

Ichigo watched the lot of them and thought he was going to be sick. He choked as Kon snuggled up triumphantly to Rukia.

_I don't think I like where this is going. Not at all._

_

* * *

_Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. Encountered a major headache in the form of server problems.

To: comanderlink, dOkei, Procrastinator-starting2moro, xXxMysticalDreamerxXx, Makino114, Saotome Kyuubi , kaolla asakura , Shi-Sha Hariken, SHiNiGAMiLENNE... thank you for reviewing.

Next chapter: The Fourth Monday morning.


	6. Chapter 5: The Fourth Monday Morning

Disclaimer: All characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.

**PA system Blues: The fourth Monday Morning**

Two shadows crept across the rooftop of Karakura High. Moving swiftly with practiced ease, they slipped into the PA system room on the third floor.

"Stop fooling around with those old documents. You're supposed to be _assisting _me, remember?"

The trespasser raising up a dust amongst the school files took the reprimand casually and offered cheerfully in reply, "But, look –records of Karakura High's disciplinary cases! Did you know, some kid actually attacked the principal with a microphone last year? Ah, the high school life!"

With his hands tangled in a mass of wires, the other intruder rolled his eyes heavenwards and sighed, "Why don't you ever show the same interest towards that tower of documents on your table? And here you are –so enthusiastic about some outdated files."

With a slight pout on her lips, the female trespasser reluctantly put down the folders. "Okay. Okay. Don't get your panties in a twist!"

Her cohort shot her a murderous glare and said in a strangled voice, "My what? Mind your language!"

In a few minutes, the two trespassers finished their assigned duty and left the room without setting off any of the school alarms, nor waking the sleeping residents of Karakura town.

oooOooo

"Good morning, Ichigoo..!"

Kurosaki Ichigo curled up into a ball and pulled the blanket over his head in a valiant effort to ignore his father.

"Wakey-wakey, Ichigo! There's a brand new day waiting out there for you!" the elder Kurosaki said, shaking the blankets.

Ichigo offered a muffled snarl in response from beneath the covers. Wiser men would have taken that as a warning to retreat.

The persistent pulling on his blanket soon escalated to an all out tug-of-war between father and son. The blanket tore loudly in two and Ichigo grabbed his half of the plunder.

He defiantly wrapped the small excuse for a blanket around his head. After a moment, he grabbed his pillow and buried his head under that too.

"It's Monday morning. Time to face the world, son!"

Ichigo groaned softly.

Yes, there must be someone on earth who could actually wake up first thing in the morning and wonder, what will today bring?

Ichigo did that too –only, not in the same sickeningly positive way. He knew better.

"Lea'-me-alone! I'm sick!" he yowled.

Finally, he heard his father's footsteps leave the room. Had he given up on the unsuccessful wake-up call? Ichigo waited a few seconds before peeking out to see if the coast was clear. He was suffocating under the stupid pillow.

He was met with the sight of one Kuchiki Rukia standing forbiddingly over his form, arms crossed. She stared back silently at him, a look of disapproval clearly written on her face.

Ichigo groaned loudly. Please, not _her_! He buried his face in his pillow. He'd rather breathe cotton than to face that. Rukia was giving him the silent treatment. But, it was the sort of silence that spoke a thousand words. And he could feel them pressing down upon him –nagging, and nagging, and nagging at him.

She looked as if she could stand there all day. But he couldn't stand it one second longer.

"What?" he snapped irritably.

"What are you doing?" she replied coolly. "There's no reason for you to cut school. We don't need to make school announcements anymore."

Ichigo mentally corrected her. We have both been issued official notices that we're banned from the PA system. There's a difference.

"If you're smart, you'll stay home today too," he said in a cryptic tone.

Rukia raised her eyebrows.

Ichigo continued in his doom-filled voice, "It's _Monday. _And something _always_ goes wrong. There's something freaky about the whole business!"

Rukia rolled her eyes.

"It's uncanny, I tell you!" said the boy who was the furthest thing from normality himself.

Ichigo's bedroom door flew open with a crashing slam to the wall. Their attention was immediately centered upon Kurosaki Isshin.

His father stepped in proudly, brandishing a reagent bottle in his hands. He had even donned on his white lab coat. Ichigo's face darkened.

"Ichigoo..! No fear, Daddy's here to make you feel better!"

The boy in bed heard alarms going off in his head.

"Open up, my son!" Kurosaki Isshin cooed, with his hands in a death-grip on Ichigo's jaw.

"There's a poison label on that bottle, you quack!" Ichigo howled.

"All medicines can be poisonous. No harm taken in moderation."

"Do you even understand the meaning of moderation? That's a _ bowl _you're using!"

The dark liquid came sloshing over the rim of the bowl near Ichigo's lips. The sharp smell would have made his lips curl in disgust had he not been so intent on keeping them tightly sealed.

"Why so scared, sonny-boy? I used to give you a spoonful of this when you were a little tot. This stuff works! You'd be out of bed in no time!"

Right. Like any sane man would linger long in his sick bed with that deadly concoction fed hourly? He'd be leaping out before that stuff put him in his death bed.

"Now since you're a grown man, I increased the dosage."

Ichigo stared, horrified. The man was trying to murder his own flesh and blood by poisoning.

There was a gleam in Kurosaki Isshin's eyes.

"An opening!" he yelled, pinching Ichigo's nose tightly shut.

Ichigo opened his mouth to gasp for air and his father poured the foul medicine down his throat.

The unfortunate Ichigo sprayed the liquid out in an effort to preserve his life. Rukia dodged the tiny airborne droplets with a cry of disgust. Kurosaki Isshin watched triumphantly as his victim jumped out of bed and into a school uniform in record time.

oooOooo

Ichigo gagged. There was a putrid aftertaste on his tongue.

"Was it that bad?" Rukia asked, as she walked beside him to school.

"You have no freakin' idea. It's beyond imagination," he said darkly.

Then, he caught her eyes and his lips curved into a mischievous smile. "I guess I could give you a taste if you want a sample of it," he said, voice layered with innuendo.

Rukia stopped, and stepped right up to him, her eyes perfectly serious. Ichigo swallowed hard. He could feel his heartbeat going crazy.

What in the world had he gotten himself into now?

_She was so close, so close.. too close for comfort! Move, goddammit, move!_

Rukia stood slightly on tip-toe. She reached her hand up and buried her fingers in Ichigo's hair.

She gave his tousled hair a hard yank, and whispered, "Don't ever say things like that to me."

With a parting smirk, she flounced off ahead of him, skirts flipping slightly.

When Ichigo had recovered from his momentary speechlessness, he yelled indignantly, "And don't you pull my hair like that again! What're you trying for? Don't give me a bald spot!"

* * *

Author's Note: The fourth Monday morning; Also known as the Last Monday Morning. Yes, PA system Blues is ending soon. Since this last episode is a little long, I'm breaking it up into 2 separate chapters. 

You know the funny thing about innuendoes? You can never say them to the people you like. It gets stuck halfway in your throat. Because it would be so horrifying if it actually came out, unfiltered by the part of you that knows better.

Shi-Sha Hariken, inugrlluvsanime, Makino114, SHiNiGAMiLENNE, xXxMysticalDreamerxXx, ruukii, Classiccomeback , tenshi, the light of hope , dOkei... reviews much appreciated!


	7. Chapter 6: The Last Monday Morning

Disclaimer: All characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.

**PA system Blues: The last Monday morning**

After the fiasco with Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia, the teacher of class 1-3 concluded that randomly picking a student to handle the PA system had been a bad idea after all. But, really, who to choose now?

Ochi-sensei's red ink pen hovered over the names in the class register. She knew none of her students were keen on the _generous _offer of handling the school announcements. They were too smart not to recognize the danger the job posed.

Last week, a senior under high exam-tension had spotted Kurosaki Ichigo conveniently standing unawares in the school courtyard. Well, the senior had noticed the perfect chance to obliterate the source of all the recent noise and distractions.

He opened the classroom window and maniacally chucked his school bag out from the third floor before anyone could stop him -a Japanese dictionary, an English dictionary, three science texts and various notes. The semi-assassination attempt would have been deadly if it had hit Kurosaki-kun like a load of bricks.

After that incident, the school could not help but notice that student Kurosaki never stood under any open windows, and had a nervous habit of looking up for objects in free fall. He didn't want to be easy prey for target-practice again.

Ochi-sensei's pen tapped on the names thoughtfully.

Sado Yasutora? _No, he was a man of little words. Most likely he would read the opening, skip the entire contents of the announcement, and head straight for the closing. _

Asano Keigo? _ Right, give the PA system to the class clown. Although, with the antics of Kurosaki and Kuchiki, that position had been challenged lately._

Inoue Orihime? _The girl was fine actually. Sweet natured. But, a little weird. And the school had gotten enough strangeness from the last pair._

The teacher frowned. _What I'm looking for –is a student who's serious enough not to fool around with the system, and smart enough not to mess up. Someone sedate, steady. Tame._

The red ink pen stopped at a name. And Ochi-sensei circled it decisively.

_Done._

oooOooo

Ishida Uryuu climbed up the stairs to the third floor, the list of school announcements and the keys to the PA room in his hands.

As he unlocked the door, he sensed the lingering presence of _reiatsu _in the room. He pushed the door open carefully and scanned the silent room.

His eyes widened.

_We've been robbed!_

The table usually dominated by a tangle of wires and the ancient PA system lay unusually empty. He checked the windows. The alarm system hooked on by Kagine-sensei was still intact.

_Not through the window. And they didn't use the door either. Strong spiritual energy…_

The Quincy traced the lingering _reiatsu_ to the wall. The energy appeared to pulse faintly from here. Did someone leave a trail?

As his fingers brushed against the walls, the _reiatsu_ flared brightly. Someone had left a concealed message. Or an official statement, he decided with a smirk.

_Confiscated item: One Karakura High PA system (-consisting of wires, microphone, etc.) is forthwith the property of Soul Society. Action taken upon reports that highly confidential matters were disclosed to the general public. _

_Undercover investigation carried out by Vice Captains Abarai Renji (6th Division) and Matsumoto Rangiku (10th Division) revealed that offense was result of unintentional error._

Ishida raised his eyebrows. They sent a loud, red-haired man and an attention grabbing, uh, well-endowed woman to do sleuthing? He could tell they were severely understaffed.

_Warning: Further repeat of transgression will result in immediate disciplinary action. Thank you for your cooperation. Soul Society apologizes for any inconvenience caused by the removal of confiscated item._

_This notice was witnessed by:_

_6th Division Captain Kuchiki Byakuya_

_10th Division Captain Hitsugaya Toushirou_

_13th Division Captain Ukitake Juushirou_

The Quincy suppressed a laugh. If Kurosaki saw this, he would have a fit.

As Ishida walked past to leave the room, a hell-moth stirred from beside the Captain Kuchiki's official seal. It fluttered after the Quincy, feelers quivering. Satisfied by the trace of _reiatsu_, it settled on Ishida's shoulder.

oooOooo

"Ooh, Ishida! Did you know you've got a little passenger on you?" Mizuiro said, jogging behind his classmate on the school tracks.

"Yes, it's been following me around since this morning. Can't seem to get rid of it," Ishida replied, brushing the moth from his right shoulder. It fluttered away from his fingers and landed again on his left. He sighed.

Ichigo and Sado caught up with them, and Ichigo jeered, "Yo, Ishida! That's some strong _perfume_ you're using, man! The butterfly thinks you're some kinda overgrown flower!"

"It's a moth, you ignorant fool," Ishida replied coolly. But, at the sound of Ichigo's voice the moth flapped its black wings and flew towards the orange-haired boy.

Ishida smirked, "Looks like my _perfume _is nothing to rival _yours_, Kurosaki!"

Ichigo began backpedaling from the flying insect. He bumped into Rukia a few paces behind.

"Going the wrong way much, classmate Kurosaki?" Rukia said in the saccharine voice she usually reserved for her performance in front of schoolmates.

The hell-moth's feelers quivered, ascertaining Ichigo's _reiatsu_ as the one it was seeking out. Then, Ichigo fell over on the school tracks as 6th Division Captain Kuchiki Byakuya's frosty voice seemed to emit from the tiny insect.

"_Your insolent behaviour has reached my ears. And frankly, young man, your impudence appals me!"_

With that, the hell-moth flitted at Ichigo's nose as aggressively as it was possible for a light-winged insect to achieve.

_Harassment from a butterfly? This isn't happening! And did I just get lectured by a bug?_

Having completed its duty, the hell-moth fluttered past their heads -stopping only for a second to alight gently on Rukia's head in an inquisitive manner.

Rukia closed her mouth which had formed a round O of surprise. "Nii-sama?" she stuttered.

Ichigo decided that it would be a bad idea to chase the stupid butterfly –not good for his image. He would just have to live with the fact that he'd never get to pin it to a little glass display case. But, that didn't mean he had to just stand there and do nothing.

As the Hell-moth darted around above his head, Ichigo waved his hands about in violent 'shoo-ing' motions. A few of the girls from his class gave scandalized yells of reproach as the moth narrowly avoided his fingers.

"Kurosaki, don't bully small creatures! Leave that poor little thing alone."

Ichigo tried to suppress himself from giving them the evil-eye. This was all so highly unfair! Wasn't anyone going to feel sorry on _his_ behalf? Not that he needed anyone to defend him from a tiny butterfly. The boy just felt demoralized by the fact that he couldn't even squish the stupid bug that was deliberately annoying him.

Ichigo glared at Rukia and said huffily, "Seriously, isn't this an abuse of official facilities? I'm sure they didn't hand that irritating pest to your honourable brother for this!"

Rukia smiled weakly as she watched the hell-moth swoop down on Ichigo's unguarded spiky hair. It rested there, like a pretty hair ornament –clashing with the dreadful scowl on Ichigo's face.

* * *

Author's Note: To the readers who have stayed with me all the way up to this chapter, thank you for reading. To those who have reviewed, thank you for letting me know who you are (even if it's just your screen name..). And to those who laughed, I can't tell you how happy that makes me. 

Next chapter: Epilogue

The option for Anonymous Reviews was set to Disabled. It has been fixed. My apologies about that. And for those who wondered, "What on earth is a Mochi Rabbit?" -the link is on my profile page.

Shi-Sha Hariken, Procrastinator-starting2moro, inugrlluvsanime, Makino114, BlondieLocks, SHiNiGAMiLENNE, amwong88, kaolla asakura, flOofymikO, AznIllusion, comanderlink, xXxMysticalDreamerxXx, craziestanimefan... thank you for taking the time to review.


	8. Chapter 7: Epilogue

Disclaimer: All characters of Bleach belong to Kubo Tite.

Author's Note: For Zefrn who thought it'd be wicked to have Ichigo showing off battle-scars.

**PA system Blues: Epilogue**

Ichigo pulled his sweat-infused sports shirt over his head, trying to ignore the nasty smell of stale sweat and fungus-socks permeating through the locker room.

He heard the sound of whispering and he tensed up. There had been a few cases of attacks from fan-girl groupies since the romance-starved population in school had decided he was their idol of a knight in shining armor. Had they gone so far as to invade the boy's locker room?

He snorted. Those stupid PA broadcasts and Rukia's arrival had totally ruined the image he had worked years to perfect! He didn't want to give an impression of a soppy _Romeo_ to Rukia's _Juliet_, for heaven's sake.

He glanced over his shoulder inconspicuously and spotted a bunch of junior boys, unsuccessfully hiding behind a bank of lockers.

"…the guy's got a reputation ever since middle school. He's a legend!"

"My brother told me –he's some _yakuza_ ringleader! The Death God, they call him."

"No, stupid! He single handedly creamed a whole Society of Death Gods."

"You calling my bro a liar?"

"If the shoe fits.."

"Shut up, the both of you! You see that? Those are obviously sword wounds!" said the know-it-all voice, who hadn't liked being left out. It was ordained by the laws of the universe that there must be one in every group.

"Whoa.. Awesome!"

There was a hush of admiring silence.

"Hey, I think that must be a bullet wound!" said the voice that didn't want to be outdone by know-it-all.

"You idiot! That's his-!"

Ichigo couldn't stomach it any longer. He did not take kindly to being peeped at. Especially not by a bunch of shrimpy junior boys who made comments about his physique.

It made his hair stand on end. It was _disturbing_. It was _creepy_.

He turned around suddenly, catching them by surprise. They stood rooted to the spot.

"Boo!" he said, softly.

They all jumped and gave individual shrieks of terror. One boy reflexively swallowed his chewing gum in alarm.

Ichigo stamped his foot in their direction and snarled loudly.

Clutching convulsively at each other, they scattered -feet tripping in their haste to escape.

Ichigo broke into a peal of maniacal laughter. "Did you see that? Damn near made them pee their pants!"

Ishida stared at the disturbing sight of Ichigo going into fits of evil cackling.

_Knew it would happen one day. Those PA system episodes were just a prelude to losing his mind. It's so sad really. But, don't worry, Kurosaki. If you should ever run amok with your sword…I'll be right there behind you with my bow and arrow –because I know you'd want me to stop you. I swear this on my pride as a Quincy!_

Mizuiro shaded his eyes with one hand and peered at the group of fleeing juniors accelerating across the field. They were urgently striving to put a big distance between them and the frightening visage in the locker room.

"Ichigo has been under a lot of pressure lately, ne?" Mizuiro said.

"Ah," Sado confirmed quietly.

­­­­­

* * *

Author's Note: The End. 

Classiccomeback, craziestanimefan, comanderlink, Shi-Sha Hariken, Makino114, SHiNiGAMiLENNE, wishing... thank you for following this to the end.


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